Dear Diary, #enoughisenough.

It's been a while people, but I have felt the call to share the letter that I'm sending to as many South Carolina politicians as I can. I do not expect for my one opinion to change the world, but I am tired of remaining silent. I'm tired of filtering my opinions or keeping my mouth shut for fear of judgment. I'm tired of not sharing my personal opinions based on my life experiences for fear of judgment or not being accepted by others.

What happened yesterday in Uvalde, Texas, is completely disgusting and unacceptable. It's equally disgusting that others in this country have been killed at church, the grocery store and in nail salons. I beg you to answer the question, how many more lives need to be lost before something is done? Enough is enough.

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May 25, 2022

To Whom It May Concern,

My name is Ashlan Camp and I’m writing in hopes that you hear my urgent cries for change. You see, I find it funny that so many Americans encourage others to vote so that “your voice can be heard”, but ironically there comes a time that a vote is simply not loud enough. A breaking point is established and the constant feeling that your voice is consistently being ignored weighs on you. There comes a time where more must be done to MAKE someone listen, and I pray to God that this is my time…a time where my voice is not just heard but understood. So, forgive me if this letter isn’t perfect, if my vocabulary isn’t expansive, if you sense some sarcasm, or if my grammar is mediocre, but I’ve learned that in this wonderful country sometimes the only way to implement change is to be somewhat brash and feisty.

Yesterday, May 24, 2022, we lost 19 innocent children and two dedicated school staff members to a blatant and cowardice attacker. This individual walked into an elementary school with two assault rifles and created a living nightmare for the city of Uvalde, Texas.

Now before I unpack this specific scenario more deeply, I’d love to share my background with you and my personal experience with gun violence. Hear me say, I understand not every citizen has been directly impacted by gun violence and on the same hand, I’m so thankful that not everyone has experienced the consequences and pain of such. My fear of guns started at an early age; I think from the beginning I understood the magnitude of the impact these weapons could have on others. Although I’m from the south, where hunting isn’t just a way to put food on the table, it’s a hobby or sport, none of my immediate family members were hunters. My parents didn’t own weapons to ‘protect’ our home or have CWP’s, so the idea of having something so powerful in arm’s reach has always been hard for me to understand or accept.

I’d like to thoroughly help you understand what the night of December 20,2019 was like for me. That night my husband, Wesley Camp, was shot and killed at a Christmas party. Now, the shooter will claim ‘self-defense’, to which I heavily disagree and am still awaiting justice for. I will never understand why a grown man feared for his life versus a 26-year-old with no weapon, but sadly, I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to fathom that mindset. Truthfully though, the details of the case are so miniscule in the larger point I’m trying to express to you. I need you to understand the impact and emotion behind losing someone you care so deeply for to a gunshot. I need you to try and feel an ounce of the pain that I have experienced, or better yet, feel the fresh pain that these families of the 21 people who were slaughtered yesterday feel in Uvalde, Texas.

Close your eyes and really let this portrait play out in your head. Come on! Use some of your imagination that may have been pushed to the back burner during your rise to political power. Sit and think about what it’s like to see your spouse off to a Christmas party that you’re not attending because you have Christmas plans with some friends you haven’t seen in a while. You both get dressed together, laugh about how you still haven’t begun Christmas shopping for your families, give a quick kiss before you get in separate cards and go about your plans. Think of heading home and texting your significant other “Want a milkshake?” from your favorite local spot because you knew they’d probably be home soon. Envision yourself sitting on the couch, blissfully enjoying your milkshake, binge watching your favorite Netflix show, and casually falling asleep on the couch because it’s been a stressful pre-holiday week at work. Okay, this is where I really need you to dig deep, picture yourself waking up to a phone call from a family member of your spouse, immediately knowing in your gut that something is terribly wrong because it’s 3AM and they’re still not home. I want you to truly hear the sound of the cry (if that’s even what that noise can be referred to) that you let out of your throat because there are no words to explain what you’ve just been told. Keep your eyes shut and picture yourself crumbling to your kitchen floor and dry heaving because the thought of losing your lifelong partner to a selfish and cowardly act is absolutely unfathomable. Bear with me. I want you to feel, REALLY FEEL, the emptiness that is left in your heart immediately. Feel all your future plans and goals become abandoned; feel the hollowness created in your heart by knowing you will never see, smell, touch, or hear that person ever again. Feel the immediate what-ifs that begin swirling in your head as you beg for God to bring them back. Are you crying yet? Trembling at the thought? Good.

Now let me quit being selfish, and let’s play this game again. Imagine waking up on an ordinary Tuesday morning and going to get your kid(s) up for school. You walk into their room shake them awake (because what child gets up willingly for school?) and tell them to get dressed for the day. Maybe you have a little girl, who you help get ready by putting braids in her hair. Or maybe you have a little boy, who you help by tying his dirty tennis shoe laces. Maybe you fix a gourmet breakfast for them and send them away to Robb Elementary School on the bus, or maybe you throw a Poptart in their lap as they buckle up in the car for you to endure another time-consuming wait in the drop-off line. Now remember, you don’t know this is the last time you’re seeing your child; no, you don’t get that privilege. You don’t get to tell them whole-heartedly how much they mean to you or how proud you are of them. Envision yourself giving them a kiss on the cheek or an enthusiastic attempt at “Have a great day at school!” Got all that engrained in your mind? Great. Now, think about being a parent and receiving word that there is an intruder at your child’s school and the school is now on lockdown. Imagine that feeling of your stomach dropping as you rush to the school to try and protect your baby or waiting for a phone call from anyone who can tell you what the hell happened and if your child is alive or not. Think about choking on the fear that your ‘normal’ Tuesday morning was the last morning you ever saw your child. Please genuinely think about those parents who actually lost their child on May 24, 2022. Think about how they’ll never see their child play a high school support, graduate with their friends, go to prom, attend a university or proudly serve this country, get married, and start a family. Think about how absolutely terrible it must feel for a parent to lose their entire future over a selfish and cowardly act.

Here’s an even better scenario, think about how mad the victims of these shootings must feel because NOTHING is being done to change who has access to guns or how people can purchase them. Think about those parents of the students at Sandy Hook Elementary, who have fought to ensure that they wouldn’t have to share similar fates with any other parent in this type of horrific tragedy. Ten years have gone by and the only thing that has implemented to ‘stop’ intruders at schools is practicing intruder drills. Students and teachers are told to hide in a corner and lock the door in instances like yesterday. This is not stopping any mass shooting from occurring in a school; this is simply telling students and staff how to react after the problem has arisen. I know these parents, communities, and the rest of any logical thinking American (regardless of political affiliation) stand with me as I BEG you to TAKE ACTION. I BEG you to help us find some sort of solution to the chaos and devastation that is caused by guns. Have you not had enough?!

Please help me understand why assault rifles can be owned by civilians. Help me see why every day people NEED access to a weapon who’s only purpose is to kill. Please assist me in comprehending how an 18-year-old can own a gun, but cannot yet purchase alcohol. Are they responsible enough at that age to own something that could end someone’s life, but not responsible enough to partake in a substance that can impair their judgment? It’s baffling. Can you please explain why there is no waiting period in SC to purchase a gun? Better yet, please help my ignorant mind understand why it could take anywhere from a few minutes to a couple of days to complete a background check in order to ensure that someone is ‘capable’ of owning a gun. Should these backgrounds checks not be a bit more thorough? Maybe, while you’re at it, you can explain what type of mental health checks are completed for someone to purchase a gun or ammo. Possibly, those mental health checks should be required before anyone is allowed to purchase a gun, completed annually to ensure they remain mentally capable enough to own such weapon, and consistently be trained on the proper way to use a firearm.

Wait, this seems so silly and unreasonable since owning a firearm is our “God-given right” as Americans! That’s what some argue, correct? That’s funny because that same amendment was written when it was okay to own people like property. Good thing we gained some common sense in 1865 and updated that law so that people of color could be treated like actual human beings. Thank God for that 13th amendment! And how about the 19th amendment? How crazy is it that women didn’t have a voice until then? Thank goodness that by the time 1920 rolled around, we said “these rights may need some updating based on changing times”. I question what is different here. Do we continue to need a law that was originally intended for citizens to be able to quickly form a militia to protect themselves from the possibility of invading countries to stay as is? Should we continue to allow the sale of guns to untrained, unchecked, and unregistered citizens? Should we continue to quietly step aside and let more innocent lives be claimed in places that should be deemed safe, like schools, churches, and grocery stores?

This is AMERICA. This is supposed to be the greatest country in the world, and yet, I woke up today fearing for the lives of my friends and family members who work in a school. I woke up anxious, knowing that they could be next, and the only thing that may done to recognize their loss would be a viral social media post. I woke up frustrated that this mass shooting is just one of many that have happened over the course of 2022. Do you not get the news of these events happening and question why this is unheard of in some countries? Do you not feel the pressure in finding a solution so we can quit waiting on the next type of these violent and unnecessary crimes to take place?

I’ll be honest, I do not have the most comprehensive understanding of the government, laws, and voting of policies. I own up to my short comings and faults, but I ask that you do the same sir/ma’am. I ask that you come forward and admit that you have ignored or not fought hard enough for some type of gun control reform. I ask that you dedicate the time and efforts into finding something that works better, not just for me, but for the whole country. I hope that you encourage others to share their stories, their feelings, and their pain from encountering one too many of these horrific episodes, and I challenge you to speak to those who have been directly impacted by gun violence to gain a better understanding of how hard daily life can be after these tragedies. I beg you to step up and take action regardless of the work, time, and dedication it may require.

Sincerely,

Ashlan Camp